So thanks to Tania Casselle and Darcy Lewis over at Freelance Success (FLX) who came up with an easy solution to my last-name, voice-mail conundrum.
I just bought a new (voice-mail friendly) domain and forwarded it!
Now instead of speaking in Navajo code-talk, can just tell prospects' voice mail:
"You can view my online portfolio and resume at zipline agency dot com."
For anyone who is wondering, forwarding is free (at least through GoDaddy) and if you call sales, they will walk you through the setup.
Last-name problem solved. And for only $1 a month. (Much easier than going to court or marrying some guy named Smith).